Rule of three: Evanescence Part I

The Rule of Three!

The Rule of Three blogfest begins today and it’s nothing less than a party for word lovers. What more can any fan of the written word ask for than this? October is going to be all about hopping from blog to blog, in an effort to read all the wonderful REN3 entries. Happy REN3 y’all!

Here’s the first installment of the story. Hope you enjoy 🙂

Helena Bond rose from the rock restless to carry on with the journey. Her two companions, a younger sister Elaina Bond and a dear
friend Maria Wood were inclined to sit there awhile to take in the cool forest wind. The three had been on foot braving the forests of Assart with their
hearts set on capturing the Espadon in all her beauty on their easels. Helena, the eldest of six Bond sister’s was the prettiest and had blown away the
ambitious little heart of Richard Greaves, the only boy of the well-to-do traders’ family of the Greaves. The threesome considered this their last outing together before the union of Helena with Richard.

They set out to do something that not many other women, in their early twenties, dared to do- hiking all the way through the tough
forests of Assart to the river Espadon just to satisfy their youthful aspirations. The fear of the people to tread these forests was based from many
a folklore about evil spirits that dwelt on certain ancient trees. There had been mass executions in the heart of Assart a few hundred years ago when the
great battle of Sora was fought and after which the beautiful town of Renaissance had dwindled into ruins. Eventually the virtuous town recouped and
rose back from its ashes healthy and prosperous. But as all thrilling things that feed the glands of humans, the stories about the spirits retained their
solidity despite the intellectual advancements.

“Elaina Bond, you don’t want to rile your sister” said Maria, “come on now”

“Oh I don’t care a rush for her temper. Besides did you notice her eyes, they are set upon some distant horizon. She’s been gaze-walking all along!”

“Helena! What has that wizard of a man done to you?” Maria cried.

“Maria dear, have you brought along the raw sienna mix?” Helena said, half-blushing. Just wait until you find someone, she thought. The other two exchanged glances and walked along in silence until they came to a clearing.

“Mama said long time ago a couple went into Assart and they never returned” naughty Elaina intonated.

“Mama’s always talking too much with that tell tale Mrs. Rugs” Helena joined, “And Hannah says it’s just some old story”.

“Well, Hannah’s the most sensible woman I have ever known” said Maria who always had a liking for Hannah, the governess.

“What if the ghoulish couple show up to welcome the three cronies?” Elaina hissed. The shrill laughter of the girls pierced the forest air.

The trio now walked a faster pace as Nora barked a little more than usual. That meant they were very close to Espadon, the sight of which they had been yearning to behold anxiously for years. The girls twisted and broke the lean branches eager to make way. The sparkling river glittered through the gaps.

 Helena looked entranced and her heart beat so fast and her fingers twitched to stroke that white roll of paper she held. Drawing huge breaths of air Helena said, “There she is”.

The sight of the vivacious group of girls on the banks of the glorious Espadon was so resplendent a picture in itself that the onlooker might be tempted to think that some supernatural artist was behind it after all. Nothing should have disturbed this beauteous event.

*********************************************************************

Word count : 554

Prompts used: There is fear of impending misfortune, Someone might fall in love.

(P.S – Please leave your honest opinions on the piece in the comments section)

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19 thoughts on “Rule of three: Evanescence Part I

  1. Ah, the Great Battle of Sora!!! A new part of the history of Renaissance comes to light. I wonder if we’ll get to find out about that story?

    OK..I think I will have to start keeping track of all of these bits and pieces and add to the back story at the end of all of this.

    Thanks.

    • It was just meant to be a slow introductory piece. I didn’t want to rush with things. Even though it’s flash fiction I still wanted people to get well acquainted with the characters 🙂

  2. Nice literary writing style! I find it refreshing! As mentioned by other commenters, this scene reminds me of a snippet of Austen in terms of the exchange between the three women.
    But, overall I felt kind of float-y reading it–>I can see the setting and the characters, but I couldn’t immerse myself in the scene.

    I think the scene would be more effective with more context/set up. For example, I want to know who Hannah the governess and Mrs. Rugs are. And, Nora the dog seems to come from nowhere.

    All that to say, I like the scene structure, and the sketch that you’ve presented, I just want to know a more about the world. After several readings, I still felt like I was missing out on something important. Like one of my lit profs drilled into my brain: “Lead the reader by the hand.”

    I look forward to reading more!!

    [PS, Thank you for the lovely comments on DB’s blog! I really appreciated it! ^_^]

    • I totally get what you mean by the piece being a little float-y. I’ll keep that in mind for next time. And thank you so much for sharing that bit of advice from your professor. Next time there’s going to be more detailing for sure. I think I didn’t see that at all! What would I do without people like you, Liza? Thanks a ton 🙂

      And I just said what was true at DB’S blog 🙂

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